Labels Make Mental Illness Seem Unsurmountable

Mental distress and social difficulties are not really easily categorisable. The insistence of doctors at the best of Indian hospitals to diagnose and label OCD or Bipolar or Borderline may not always be in the best interests of the patients.

If the patient is not so seriously deficient, and can manage basic interactions and conversations and even a full time job, even though they might be suffering, labels may do more harm than good.

Helping them how to have interactive conversations, developing a world of interests and schedules and work and friends outside their head, simplifying and removing excess thought is much more helpful.

Helping them not to get paralyzed by the bewildering social mistakes they make but learn to love themselves and others.

Getting them exposed to simulations or scenarios in which they see people not rejecting each other after various social disturbances and disagreements.

Label such a person as OCD or Manic, and you're not really tackling the lack of social experience and skills which makes the disturbed person react with fear to small situations.

And as usual, to sign off, I talk about the wonderful work my friend Ananado Chatterjee is doing for no profit with the Hank Nunn Institute, named after Hank Nunn, a Canadian guy we all call dad. 

Priorities Messed Up

Treading with fear
Unaware that ones eyes are closed
Priorities Messed Up

Keeping ones voice low
While ones fleeing feet panic aloud
Priorities Messed Up

Communicating in strong words
As ones hands visibly tremble
Priorities messed up

Brushing life's teeth
But forgetting the paste
Priorities messed up

And as usual, to sign off, I talk about the wonderful work my friend Ananado Chatterjee is doing for no profit with the Hank Nunn Institute, named after Hank Nunn, a Canadian guy we all call dad. 

Non-Violent Communication: Hypersensitivity Demystified for Me

I have always been hypersensitive. To the beauties of nature, to the love from my friends, to the smiles of strangers, and most unfortunately, to the not so easy stuff.

I was determined to improve and to disregard my feelings and thoughts as hypersensitive crap, when I started off attending these NVC sessions. There, they taught us to be aware of our feelings and accept them as important. It was the opposite of what I had wanted to learn.

It was difficult, super-intense, boy! The last session I attended, it was the first time it was a two day session instead of just one.

I got fever on Monday, could not go to work on Tuesday, went to Appollo hospital on Wednesday where the Dr suspected pneumonia! Woah! False alarm!

And today, Sunday, as you go out with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or play with your baby, I am working from home to compensate for all that leave.

But I'm glad. You know why? Because that intense stuff helped me decide feelings are normal and OK. And I need not make every day self-improvement day.

After the fever, I'm feeling healthier.

Attend an NVC session guys, and do the activities, especially if you tend to dismiss your feelings as silly, but they still bother you tons.

And as usual, to sign off, I talk about the wonderful work my friend Ananado Chatterjee, so wise he was born with an NVC spoon in his mouth, is doing for no profit with the Hank Nunn Institute, named after Hank Nunn, a Canadian guy we all call dad.

How to Stop Crying When You're Hysterical

Sometimes, the world just seems a bad place. Worries pile up. Life seems incomplete, yet almost ending. Disappointment turns to fear, and you can't take it any more.

It's late at night, and you've taken care of everyone, but there is no one to help you reduce the ache in your chest.

You remember and relive worse and worse incidents and suddenly, you're crying and cannot stop. You know you will get sinus pain, or maybe fever if you go on, but you've lost it, so then, what to do?

Well, taking a warm bath is one thing that is easy and will cheer you up. Another way is to confront yourself out of love for yourself and sternly tell yourself to just let go. This way is better as it offers a more long-lasting solution, but it requires practice.

If this sort of thing is happening almost daily for a month or more, consider getting help. The Hank Nunn Institute can help you as well.

Grown Ups Need to Play Too

In Indian culture, which is very child-centric, grown ups, especially women, do not play much. But play is good not only for kids.

Outdoor sport, such as badminton, basketball etc, can help make you happier and healthier. These are social games, played with other people, and help build bonds.

After marriage, life can get difficult and draining especially for women. Managing cooking, kids, in-laws, guests has led some of my married friend to become very resigned and passive.

It is essential to find even five or ten minutes to play outdoors in a day, even if it is a simple game of tag with the lady next door.

Just ensure you are away from all your responsibilities for that short while. Hand your baby to your dad-in-law for ten minutes, smile and play. It is normal and healthy to have a child in you as long as you can keep it happy. Play is something children get happy about, and that includes the child in you.

How Do Mentally Ill People Get Better?

Well, one of the things therapists do is a lot of recapping the past and analyzing, the logic being that the person will learn how to handle situations better.

This approach often backfires because many people who test positive for neurosis (personality disorder) actually are sick because they cannot let go. They keep recapping and analyzing the smallest of events and report it to the shrink as something big.

The Hank Nunn Institute teaches clients how to let go of analysis, simplify things and start living.

Easy Breathes the Heart that's Light

I dragged a puff of breath so deep

That it blurred my eyes with memory smoke
And all the sermons of the past
Made light of; dissolved into a joke
It made me sigh in relief at last
By showing me that t'was OK to not think
But just draw friends to my unopinionated self
And in life's soft mattress together to sink

Oh how sweet the uncomplicated breath
That needs no thought to nurture a being
Nor judgement save that one accept
Easy love wafting around now and then
When I know that breath is automatic
And life easily flows, I get whole
And understand why a human being
Is never termed a body
But called a soul

Written for my friend Anando, CEO of the Hank Nunn Institute.

Lost Girl on the Hill

I saw a wisp upon a hill

She said that she was lost

That memories from the past below

Were making it difficult to feel on her feet

But I tried to say that I could see only

The solid ground beneath her feet

And that the only wishy washy stuff

Was the way she was a wisp yet talked

I still am trying not to judge 

Her right to exist as a wisp

Though I hope she's fine enough to see

The ground supporting her feet

The Hank Nunn Institute teaches people to feel the ground beneath their feet.

The Coolest Volunteer Group Ever! Make Friends and Feel at Home!

The Hank Nunn Institute is doing really practical stuff helping people who are stuck in mental issues to get independent. Come and be part of the most fun-loving volunteer group ever.You get to hang out with cool people, make friends and showcase your experience on your resume!

We garden together, eat together, cook together, facebook together. All we want is just 2 hours of your time per week!

The Hank Nunn Institute is a not-for-profit Public Charitable Trust established towards developing treatment, awareness and training services in the arena of mental health. The Institute aims at providing a set of options for persons with severe mental illnesses, while also providing an opportunity for the local community to be involved at various levels in supporting the recovery process. This approach is based on the Therapeutic Community (TC) methodology, where every activity is planned and has a healing intention within a structured environment. The organization intends to start five therapeutic communities between 2014 and 2020, each for a different kind of need. 

They are as follows:

a) A day TC for persons with chronic psychiatric disorders
b) A residential TC for homeless persons with psychiatric disorders
c) A residential TC for adults with learning disability and autism
d) A rural TC for persons with psychiatric disorders
e) A day TC for persons with personality disorders

As Good As You Get

Self Improvement. Everyday a self-improvement day. Every moment a self-improvement moment. Is that you?

Well, that certainly was me. Until I said, "What if this is as good as I get? What if this is how improved I get, and no further?"

I was scared. But then, I waited. Waited to make the social faux pas I am so good at. Made one. The usual demons gnashed their teeth at me. To make them go, I made it self-improvement moment again. "But wait!" said I. And faced my demons bravely. Boy, was it difficult! I felt so guilty there was a social error in my thinking, and I was going to do my best not to improve!

Since then, I have done that many times. Am I happier? No. Wiser? No. But do I think I'll soon be? Yes. Because one thing has changed. Ever since I decided to accept my flaws and agree to not improve them, I am able to be more accepting of other people.

What a blessing!

Do you need to give up the endless self improvement quest, too?

Well, then stop improving and start living.

Goodbye, and do not forget to visit the Hank Nunn Institute page to see what fun we had there lately. If you or a loved one is suffering mentally and needs to get independent, do contact the Hank Nunn Institute. Also, we need funds and volunteers. Do join in if you're good with that. Cheers!